What should I do if I am concerned that a child or teen may sexually abuse another child?

FAQ Category:

Children's Behaviors

Act now if you are worried that a child may be at risk to or has sexually harmed or abused another child. By taking action, you will reduce the risk that other children in your community or family will experience sexual abuse. And, prompt intervention can get a child with sexual behavior problems the treatment they need to learn safer behaviors with other kids.

Responding to your own child's harmful or abusive behaviors

The majority of child sexual abuse involves a child sexually harming another child. However, children’s sexual behaviors are very different from adult sexual behaviors. Responses to a child's sexually harmful or abusive sexual behavior must be addressed appropriately to their developmental age and stage.

If you are the parent or guardian of a child engaging in concerning or abusive sexual behaviors with another child, it is important to address these behaviors at the first sign. Caring adults should have an open conversation with their child about why these behaviors are not okay or safe, and why they cannot continue.

Developing a family safety plan to address the concerning or abusive behaviors is also crucial in making sure there are clear boundaries for safe and appropriate behavior. These rules apply to all adults and children within the home. Part of family safety planning also includes making sure that children have access to age-appropriate information about healthy sexual development.

If a child continues to struggle with safe sexual behaviors despite redirection, it’s important to consult with a professional who can help assess what might be going on for them. A trained professional can also help families to reinforce safe behaviors. Therapists who are specialized in youth sexual behaviors will understand how to best support a child struggling with their concerning or abusive sexual behaviors in learning safe behaviors with other kids.

Getting help for another child with concerning or abusive sexual behaviors

If you are concerned about another child’s sexual behaviors, speaking to the child’s parents can help bring awareness to the warning signs in their behavior you are noticing. Conversations with parents can help them address their own child’s behaviors, develop their own safety plans, and seek out professional support and resources to make sure their family has ongoing support and guidance in keeping children safe. If you are concerned that the child is learning unsafe sexual behaviors within their family environment, you can also consider consulting with a professional or reporting to authorities.

Reporting child on child sexual abuse (COCSA)

It may also be important to consider reporting abusive behavior by children to the authorities, especially if there is continued immediate risk to a child’s safety. Typically, child-on-child sexual abuse is reported to Child Protective Services (CPS) in your state. However, every state has unique laws on how to report child abuse. You may contact child advocacy centers, child abuse hotlines, and community agencies to get clarification on how to make a report in your state (Darkness to Light, 2024)[1]. You can learn more about this process by reading through our pages on reporting.

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References
[1] Darkness to light. (2024). Maybe you have a suspicion that a child is being abused based on something you’ve witnessed, or a child has told you that abuse is happening. Retrieved from https://www.d2l.org/get-help/reporting/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAuNGuBhAkEiwAGId4arAub-zK6Ku-F4Hq5_xD4P-L9Kom6usSEgksFn192X72RFF2Cpv4XhoCTLYQAvD_BwE