Is it normal for teen son to take stepsister's underwear?

Dear Concerned Parent,

I consulted with Steve Brown, Psy.D., Director, Traumatic Stress Institute of Klingberg Family Centers and a former Stop It Now! board member to help answer your question.  Steve shared this:  "I do not believe that the behavior of taking his step-sister's underwear alone is indicative of a sexual behavior problem and jumping to the conclusion that this will lead him to be a child molester is unwarranted. At the same time, it does warrant follow up."

If he has shown significant problems related to sexual behavior in the past or currently, I would advise taking him to a counselor or therapist to discuss what you learned and your concerns.  If he has no history, I would have a discussion with him although it will likely be a bit uncomfortable for him and you. I would warn him at the beginning that this could be a little uncomfortable. Then I would tell him matter-of-factly what you discovered and see how he reacts.

At some point in this conversation, I'd advise telling him that she, you, and his step-mother feel uncomfortable with him taking her underwear and that you'd like him to stop. Make sure you tell him at the end something positive about his willingness to have a hard conversation.  If the behavior continues after you set this limit, then I would seek out professional help. 

I hope this information is helpful and informs your response to your son. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any additional concerns or questions. 

Take care,
Stop It Now!